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There are many ways to part with your money
in this world. Many folks like to lose their money in the markets.
I don't know why. I can think of better ways to lose your money
in which you can have more fun. Whenever I get a hair up my butt
and I want to lose money, I prefer to go to Las Vegas. I have
found that there are many advantages to losing your money in
Vegas rather than in the market:
- I can get cheap airfare on an airplane with
a window seat.
- I get to stay at a nice hotel very inexpensively.
- I get plenty of good cheap buffet meals.
- I can drink for free while playing Blackjack.
- I can go to topless shows, and see some nice
hooters.
- I can go into a casino and feel like a movie
star with all the cameras on me.
- I can take a side junket and see Hoover Dam
for the 10th time.
- I can see my hero, Wayne Newton, and wish
I had hair like his.
However, some people still insist on losing
money the boring old fashioned way in the market. So to help
them out, I am posting the best ways to lose your money in the
market. Please be sure to print this out and commit it to memory
so you can lose as much money as possible.
Beliefs you must have to lose large amounts
of money
- Market Makers control the markets and play
games in order to hurt daytraders.
- There is an entity called "They"
that controls the entire market and every stock in it.
- "They" has a supercomputer located
in an underground bunker which monitors everything.
- Market Makers are evil people and play games
in order to frustrate daytraders.
- Market Makers have an unfair advantage.
- Market Makers will "gap" the market
in order to make money off the retail traders.
- Technical Analysis is for the birds, it is
a bunch of "hooey".
- The folks who have made a lot of money in
the markets are just plain lucky.
- Believe that you have the ability to nail
bottoms and tops in the market.
- Chatroom gurus have a handle on the market
and can beat the market.
Things you must do in order to lose large
amounts of money(incomplete......will add to this)
- Make sure your emotions are involved with
every trade.
- Think about all the money you are going to
make.
- After entering a trade, think about what
you will do with all your profits.
- After entering a trade, congratulate yourself
on how freekin' smart you are.
- If you get stopped out of a trade, be determined
to get back in the same stock and get your money back.
- Never ever let a stock get the best of you.
- Once you form an opinion, never let go of
it......stick to your guns no matter what.
- Once you show a loss in a stock, just keep
buying on the way down(or shorting on the way up), thereby reducing
your overall cost.
- Short strong stocks that have been basing
near their highs all day.......they surely must fall.
- Watch for pausing and "inbetweeners"
on fast selling stocks.....this is a signal that a bottom is
here.
- Follow guru calls religiously, even though
you don't understand the calls. Remember, the money is the most
important thing.
- Do not educate yourself by reading books,
since you subscribe to 10 different chatrooms, and you can get
all the calls you need without doing any work yourself.
- Chase the market after a trend is recognized,
then once it turns on you, get scared and bail out.
- When you realize a large gain on a trade,
be sure to tell everyone about it, so they know how great you
are.
- Don't concern yourself with money management.....that
is for sissies who have no balls.
- Once you realize a gain, take a profit no
matter how small it is, so that you can feel good about yourself.
- Once you show a loss on a trade and the price
blows past your stop, hold on to it and have faith that God will
make the price turn around and go in your favor. Remember.....God
is on your side. Have faith.
- Don't let them take your shares by dropping
the price......remember, its just a ploy to get you to sell.
- Be sure to trade everyday....remember, this
is your job. If you are not trading, you are not working.
- Trade during pre and post market.......the
biggest gains are realized during this time.
- Be sure to blame losses on something or someone
other than yourself.
- Do not keep a trading journal......this will
only confuse the facts.
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